what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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