All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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