I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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