My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
