Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
