I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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