I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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