She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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