This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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