I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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