just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
