Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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