I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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