guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
