When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
