And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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