he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
