i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
