you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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