My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
