problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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