2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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