I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
