Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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