well I can't set my house on fire every night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
