guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
