I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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