he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
