im having a threesome with these popsicles
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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