using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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