We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
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Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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