This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This baby is an asshole
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
