She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
