OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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