is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
