wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
