i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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