babies were throwing up all over the place
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
