i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
