Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize