its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love you.
Bad choice
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
