Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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