those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
