alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
