my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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