I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
