I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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