You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize