Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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