Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
