Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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