the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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