**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
