I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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