First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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