does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
