it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Randomize
