why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
