were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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