my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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