just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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