why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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