im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
