so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
